April 2012
4 posts
moo, bish. get out the way.
*Mama Cheeks calls*
Mama Cheeks: Hey, I was just calling. I had stepped out to go to the store right quick. Good game tonight!
Me: Yeah! We (#DaBulls) spanked them!
Mama Cheeks: Like they stole somethin'!
Me: Yessss!
Mama Cheeks: There's a cow in the store.
Me: *Scooby Doo confused bark* ... *bursts into giggles* WHAAAAAA? What do you mean?
Mama Cheeks: A cow. I guess it's a promo thing for a high school in the area.
Me: Wait... *still laughing* What do you mean... a cow? Someone is in a cow costume?
Mama Cheeks: No. A painted cow. You know like the ones (the sculptures) downtown?
Me: Oh yeah...
Mama Cheeks: Mmmhmm.
Me: ... But how you gonna just say that outta context like that?! HAHAHA!
Mama Cheeks: Because I just saw it in the store!
Me: I guess.
Mama Cheeks: It said hi to me.
Me: *SLAIN*
There is absolutely no way I EVER question where I got my foolishness from.
Apr 19th
woof
(On women who stay in relationships with straying men) “You call him a dog, but YOU the one who put a collar on him” - Mama Cheeks *z-snaps*
Apr 9th
I Will Survive
Mama Cheeks: You were supposed to call me when you got in. Me: Oh! My bad!! MC: Mmhmm, you and [Sis Cheeks] don’t care about me… Me: Mama! I just forgot and I had so much to do and —- MC: That’s alright, somehow I’ll make it on my own. Me: *Dead* And she said it deadpan as hell!!! How can you be dramatic AND deadpan? That’s Mama Cheeks…
Apr 3rd
The Hookup
Backstory: So, I told Mama Cheeks to look out for a nigga if she sees any cute, single, worthy guys out at her job.
Mama Cheeks: There's a manager here who went to Northern (NIU, my alma mater).
me: Oh, yeah? Niiiice! So you got a Huskie amongst your crew. Cool.
MC: Yeah, he's in the management program, training us. He's an engineer.
me: SCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRR (*record scratch in my head*) 'Scuse me, he???
MC: Yes.
me: So, um... *actually makes the "move it along" gesture with hands... over the phone*
MC: Oh, he's getting married.
me: Eaux. Another one bites the dust, huh?
MC: Yeah... and he's a little younger than you, so...
me: Um... huh? You do that too! Known for it, actually.
MC: Yeah, that's true.
me: *smug smile*
Like mother, like daughter. Blame the babyface. No Kenneth Edmonds.
Apr 2nd